The Hardest Part

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Assalamualaikum wrt

today as i was reading the Quran (i can't read the quran without reading the translation due to the fact that i can barely understand Arabic save for a few mere easy vocab, barely enough to construct a sentence) and as i was browsing through surah Ali 'Imran, i came across an ayah where Allah tells us the story of a woman who Allah has chosen above all the other women in the world. that woman must be so special to be chosen by Allah Himself right?

(Remember) when the wife of 'Imran said: "O my Lord! I have vowed to You what (the child that) is in my womb to be dedicated for Your services (free from all worldly work; to serve Your Place of worship), so accept this, from me. Verily, You are the All-Hearer, the All-Knowing." 3:35

(English - Mohsin Khan)

yes, it was Maryam, or Mary if you prefer the English version.

even before Maryam was born, her mother has dedicated the child that was in her womb solely for Allah (in this case, the child in the womb being Maryam). even before she gave birth, she decided that her own child would be for Allah's sake alone. imagine loving someone so much, someone who has been a part of you but you willingly let go for the sake of Allah. i mean, i have never had the chance to experience the same feeling; possibly not yet. but i would have to guess how burdensome and how reluctant i would be to let go of someone i love so much. just giving your own things for the sake of Allah (for example, giving away your SIII or iPhone 4/5 to someone who needs it more than you do) is enough to make you feel reluctant. and those are just your own stuff and belongings, not your own mother or father or brother.. 

and to carry a tiny being inside of you for 9 months or 38 weeks to be exact and then just give it up.. that requires strength.

And (remember) when the angles said: "O Maryam (Mary)! Verily Allah has chosen you, purified you (from polytheism and disbelief), and chosen you above the women of the 'Alamin (mankind and jinns) (of her lifetime)." 3:42

and she turned out to be one of the most respected, most dignified woman of all. 

upon reflecting such a great figure such as she, i know that i'm a far cry from who she is. but i pray and sincerely hope that even if i don't become as great as she was, i will be able to give birth and nurture my own children to be given for Allah's sake and when the time comes to let them go fi sabilillah... i will willingly and whole-heartedly do so, inshaAllah.

letting them go willingly, bearing in mind that i will meet them again in jannah...

i don't know why but i'm suddenly reminded of my dear ukhti, Adzreen who left much sooner before us. i hope that one day i will meet her again too.. in non other than in a garden so beautiful, so green with streams and rivers flowing underneath. i miss her. a lot.